is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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