i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
