You're so nebulous sometimes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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