My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
