i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
