If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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