you win again, gameday.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Drake has all the answers
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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