I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
