She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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