yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I will pee on everything he values.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
