exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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