I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize