To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
