4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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