She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
