9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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