So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
