What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
