also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
