But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
