Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
