Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize