I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize