elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
