I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
