Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize