oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
