I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
