8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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