WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
