Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just saw a hot homeless man
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
