He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
