i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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