Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize