I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
