I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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