i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
