Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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