My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
