Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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