Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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