I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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