Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
