did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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