Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
