you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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