Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
