I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
