i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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