I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am available for nakedness
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
