I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
