Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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