i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
