Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
