What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's never too late to be topless.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
