guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
