no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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