she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
