Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
