I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
