And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
