It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
