I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
