My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
