My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
