Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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