he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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