i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
