she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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